My God Is In Control – Karen Y
Life Was A Mess
I was born into a typical Singaporean family of Taoist / Buddhist background.
In my teens, I often fell sick. Blackouts and hospital visits were a common occurrence. Often, my mother would go around asking friends and relatives to introduce mediums or monks from various temples so that we could find a remedy for my illnesses. I would be asked to drink potions made of water and burnt amulets or paper chants. We went to the extent of wearing “special” Buddha pendants that had been chanted over and blessed for healing and protection.
In My Younger Days
My health seemed to improve as I grew older, finished schooling and started work. I was a healthy working adult and I made sure I enjoyed myself, spending nights after work clubbing. Inevitably, this lifestyle led to me drinking, smoking, gambling and even physical fights.
My life was a mess and it was like a living hell. Naturally, my parents and my family were upset with my behavior and they could do nothing to stop me. There was one particular incident when my brother had been concerned but which I mistook for interference in my life. I felt so angry with him that in the ensuing argument, I threw a cleaver at him. My anger and my temper were no longer controllable.
I lived each day of my life without any tangible goals. Whenever I felt disappointment, helplessness or frustration, I would continue my mother’s practices by visit different temples and bowing down to her gods believing that they would give me peace and comfort.
All of this culminated a number of years back. Due to a terrible crisis in my life, I went into a major depression. I avoided seeing everyone except my husband. While he was at work in the day, I would hide myself in my room, draw the curtains and cried myself to sleep. As I had no personal relationship with any gods, I was weak spiritually. I often pledged to shorten my lifespan to age 45 in return for peace and comfort in the remaining years. I truly felt, at that point, that life was meaningless, miserable, full of torture and suffering.
Accepting Christ
My life went through a great change on 25th February 2007. My in-laws had invited me to attend a church service. It would be my first step into a church compound. I was very reluctant to take that step. My mind was like a whirlpool. All of a sudden, my whole body started to ache and my slipped-disc problems relapsed. I took this as a sign to not go to the service but to stay home. However, my sister-in-law was persistent and we eventually did go to the service despite my body aches and pain.
At the service, I felt a warm feeling flow through me as I sat, listening to the preacher’s message. At the end of the message, the speaker asked if there was anyone who would want to be healed from all illness. Without any hesitation, I raised my hand. Everyone around me – my family members – were shocked to see me being led to the front to pray.
At that moment, I did not fully understand the significance of saying the sinner’s prayer. I thought it was too good an offer to pass. When I repeated the sinner prayer to accept Christ to be my Lord and my personal Saviour, my tear flowed uncontrollably and the miraculous part was that at that moment, as I was saying that prayer, I could feel my body being lifted up from its unending abyss of aches and pain leaving me free again. Amen.
Francis O & Karen Y
Attending Alpha
Even though I had received Christ into my life, I didn’t become a full-fledged Christian immediately – I did not attend church regularly, I did not do quiet time or pray. I didn’t even own a Bible.
It was only after 8 months that my sister, Janet, told me that she had registered me for a 10 week Alpha course. Thinking it would be just another social gathering, so I obliged.
I recall the first day of the Alpha course. I was surprised and touched by the hospitality of the hosts and the Pastors. Upon witnessing and hearing the message during the course, it led me to think seriously about my walk with God. Actions speak louder than words. To fulfill my serious decision to live a meaningful Christian life, I felt that there should be some kind of change in my life.
I began attending the Alpha course with a more positive approach. I read the Bible. I prayed and started going to church services regularly. I tried to live a righteous life like Jesus had, even though I always struggled with temptation and sin.
God In Control
By God’s grace, I got to know a group of good friends through Alpha and we learnt more about God through our worship, Bible study, prayer, services and fellowship. It helped me build a strong and firm foundation with God.
Reading God’s Word day by day, I found peace and comfort. My faith continues to grow. Christ’s love has taught me to be a more positive, caring, loving, forgiving, patient, happy and worthful person. I believe God is in control of my future and life for I have surrendered my heart, my mind and my whole being to My Lord, Our God Almighty!
Amen.
- Karen Y
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