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Why and How Do I Pray? Mon, 12 Oct, 2009

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Introduction

Let me tell you about how I could have died in a car accident about 8 years ago. I didn’t have my own car at that time, and I was driving my Mum’s Nissan Sunny quite a bit. One weekday evening, at about 7pm, I was making my way to dinner with some friends in Bukit Timah. I lived in Seletar Hills and my normal route towards the Western part of Singapore was to take the CTE and then the PIE. I had just turned into the PIE and was driving westwards, and nearing the Stevens Rd exit. There was some light rain – not the heavy kind because I remember that my windscreen wipers were set on low. Since the road was quite wet, I didn’t go fast.

But I needed to brake quite suddenly, because there was a particularly deep-looking pool of water along the road ahead of me. The car suddenly went out of control, and it spun 360 degrees: all the while careening from the middle of the expressway to the extreme right lane and then all the way across all three lanes into the left shoulder. For those few seconds, it was like my life was spinning in my mind’s eye too. Anything could have hit me as the car spun wildly around across the PIE, and that would have resulted in a dreadful accident, maybe involving a few cars. But amazingly, the only thing which hit me was a little motorcycle that gently grazed the side of the car as it screeched to a stop along that left shoulder of the PIE.

I remember being in a terrible shock after that. I couldn’t drive for a few days, and for about 6 months after the incident, I was still paranoid when it came to driving in the rain. But one thing I remember. As the car spun around out of control that evening – as I froze in sheer terror – in my mind I somehow screamed out to God, “Help!!”

Why and how do I pray? That’s the title of tonight’s talk. We’ll be exploring what it means to pray, and why prayer works. You’ve just heard an example of one common trigger for prayer. “Help!” The cry when we are in danger or in pain.

There are I think two other common triggers for prayer. There’s “Wow!” When we see beautiful scenery, or a marvellous sunset, or witness a birth, or when we’re touched emotionally by something wonderful that happens to us. We go, “Wow!” Then there’s also “Woops!” That overwhelming feeling of “oh no, I’ve done it again. I know it’s wrong, but…argh!! How can I put it right? How am I going to cope with the guilt?”

Three common triggers for prayer, which each spring from human emotions that we all recognize: Help, Wow, Woops. I’m sure that you can think of some other triggers for prayer.

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A. Why Do We Pray?

Why do we pray? We pray because we are made that way, with the need to communicate with the One who created us. The circumstances of life that we go through, especially the ones that affect us the most whether positively or negatively – moments of great exhilaration, terrible danger, or acute sadness – often also make us realize our need to reach out to something beyond ourselves. Let me suggest to you that most of us instinctively feel a need to communicate with something greater than ourselves. It is not just Christians who pray. People of other faiths also try to connect with the deities that they put their trust in. Which only goes to show that part of our common humanity involves an intrinsic need to communicate with a higher, transcendent, powerful being. Christians of course believe that this being is none other than the one true God, our Creator and heavenly Father.

God has given us the amazing ability, and also the need, to pray. It is good for us and good for the world we live in, as we lift up to God the needs of people around us. Prayer is essential for our growth as Christians, to align our wills to God’s perfect will and to establish us in a relationship of trust towards God.

Did you know, Jesus’ disciples felt strongly the need to pray too. The Bible records for us what Jesus taught his disciples about prayer. It is found in Matthew 6:6-13.

⁶But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Verse 9 onwards contain what Christians commonly call the “Lord’s Prayer”.

⁹“This, then, is how you should pray:
” ‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹Give us today our daily bread.
¹²Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’

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B. What is Prayer?

We’ll look more at the Lord’s Prayer tonight, but for now, focus on just v.9 as we consider the question, “What is Prayer?” I think it is this. Prayer is essentially about developing a relationship with God.

Let me pause here. Now, consider this question:

If you had to name just one. What one factor do you think is absolutely key to developing and deepening a relationship or friendship with someone else?

Think about it for a moment.

I think that the key factor is communication. Why communication? Because otherwise we don’t know truly know what the other person thinks, or feels, or wants, or hopes for. Well, prayer is about communication. It is about developing a two-way relationship. But because prayer involves deepening a relationship with none other that God, than some really special things must be mentioned.

First, notice who prayer is addressed to. In v.9 of the Lord’s Prayer, what do you see? “Our Father in heaven.” Prayer is to God our Heavenly Father. I just want to highlight something you’ll find interesting here. The original word that has been translated into the English word “Father” is the Aramaic word “Abba”. Abba is a very intimate term, something like “Daddy”. It speaks of love and trust and care and understanding. There is a remarkable intimacy that we who are God’s children enjoy with Him. We can call him “Daddy”. What makes it remarkable of course is the fact that we are talking to the very Creator and God of the entire universe! Hence, in v.9: Our Father… where? Our Father – in heaven. We are reminded that yes, we can speak very intimately with God who is our Father. But we must never forget too that He is God Almighty, Creator of the universe.

Now, you might be thinking, well, yes, I see that prayer is about relationship with God. God the Father. But what about Jesus and the Holy Spirit? Since we believe that God is God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Do we grow in our relationship with them too?

Let me refer you now to Ephesians 2:18:

¹⁸For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.

Through whom do we have access to God the Father? Who is this “him”? As we’ve discussed in previous weeks, it is Jesus who makes it possible for us to go to God. We must always remember that it is Jesus, through his death and resurrection, who removed the barrier between us and God. So we go to God not in our own right, but through Jesus the Son of God – through whom we are given the right to become children of God when we place our faith in Him.

Also, God understands that we can find it hard to pray, so he has not left us alone. The Bible tells us that as believers we are given the Holy Spirit who lives within us and helps us to pray.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.

We’ll look more at the work of the Holy Spirit in another session. But for now, it is sufficient to note that when we pray, God is in some amazing way helping us to pray and to know His will though His Spirit who lives in us.

So, as Christians, we’re called to pray. But the natural question is then, does God always answer prayer?

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C. Does God Always Answer Prayer?

First of all, we need to remember that God wants to give us good gifts. The Bible is filled with promises about God’s goodness to His children, and how He longs to bless us. But since he is the perfect Father, He knows what is best for us, and what our truest needs at anytime are too, things which we ourselves might be blind to.

Remember, we said that prayer is essentially about relationship, right? Well, just as there can be things in your life that are hindering your relationship or friendship with someone else, there can be things in our own lives that hinder our relationship with God.

One is unconfessed sin. Think about it for a moment. Why would this affect our relationship with God? Well, it’s because God is a holy God who will not tolerate sin. He loves us, sinners as we are, but will not put up with our sin. So when we sin, and do not repent of our sin, we’re actually taking Christ’s death very lightly. We’re forgetting that the consequence of sin is actually separation from God. Unconfessed sin creates a barrier between us from God. We read in Isaiah 59:1-2:

¹ Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save,
nor his ear too dull to hear.

² But your iniquities have separated
you from your God;
your sins have hidden his face from you,
so that he will not hear.

This is serious stuff! When we sin and do not repent and ask for God’s forgiveness, God may not hear and answer our prayers! So, if we sometimes pray but don’t sense God’s presence – we need to check if thee is any unconfessed sin in our lives. For us who are Christians: if we sense we are not walking in the fullness of God’s blessing upon our lives, we may need to see if there is sin in our lives that has not been dealt with.

Disobedience. Even as Christians, our friendship with God can be marred by disobedience. John writes:

²¹Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God ²²and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.

- 1 John 3:21-22

Wrong motives. God may not answer our prayers if we ask out of wrong motives. James, the brother of Jesus, writes:

²You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. ³When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

- James 4:2-3

Not good for us. God loves us perfectly and knows what is best for us. What we think is best for us is not what God knows is best for us. He knows all things, and He sees everything from an eternal perspective. God promises and longs to give us only “good gifts” (Matthew 7:11). Those of you who are parents would know this. Do you give your children everything that they ask for? Definitely not. And when we see spoilt children whose parents dote on them and give them whatever they want – we shudder, don’t we?

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D. How Do We Pray?

People can sometimes be very scared about prayer. As a pastor, I often have to explain to people how to pray. Often, what I hear from people is this: “I don’t know how to pray!” There is a great model of prayer in the Bible, which is the Lord’s Prayer. I’ve given its outline in your handout, and I’d like you to discuss it during your group discussion time as you explore how we should pray.

But let me say a few things which will be very comforting to us. First, God hears not the words of our mouths but the thoughts and attitudes of our hearts as well; in fact He already knows what we need before we ask Him! So we read earlier, in Matthew 6:

⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

- Matthew 6:6-13

God is not impressed by eloquence or many words. God knows us and we don’t need to pretend to be what we are not. He just wants us to come before Him simply, in humble trust.

Second, the Holy Spirit is in us, helping us to pray! This is totally amazing. And anther source of great comfort that I mentioned this earlier. God’s Spirit actually helps us to pray.

Third, stop worrying about how to pray. Just do it! If you’ve never really prayed to God before, it may seem strange at first. But like when you first learned to swim, or cycle, or drive, or use a new handphone, like all new skills, we need to practise a bit. So it is with prayer. At first, it may seem a bit strange. Try telling God how strange it feels. Then just start sharing what really matters to you. Thank God for His love. Ask God to make a difference in the situations you care about. You don’t need special words, but a familiar prayer can help you get started. The Lord’s Prayer provides an excellent framework, so do discuss it later.

Finally tonight, let’s briefly consider the question of when we should pray.

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E. When Should We Pray?

First, the bible tells us that we are to “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We are also told, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” (Ephesians 6:18). The implication is that we are to be always in prayer. God wants us to be in loving and unbroken relationship with Him.

When we begin to pray regularly, talking to God becomes part-and-parcel of our lives. I have a long way to grow in prayer, but on a good day I find myself naturally just talking to God constantly during the day. As I drive, I talk to God. As I see or encounter people during the day, I pray for them. I see our church cleaner, and I ask God to bless him. On the way to the coffeeshop to buy kopi, I see a stranger walk past and he looks troubled – and I pray for him.

Second, the Bible teaches us that we are to pray alone, in secret. Remember Matthew 6:6, which we read earlier? The implication is that we are to find time during the day to spend time with God in prayer. The Bible records for us, for example in Mark 1:35, that Jesus Himself would regularly withdraw from the busyness of ministry to spend time with His Father in prayer. We need to discover for ourselves when is best, when our mind is most active and we are able to focus on God. For example, I’m very much a night person, so I find that it’s best for me to combine bible reading and prayer at the end of the day, when my mind is most alert. I’m hopeless early in the morning, especially when I haven’t yet had a cup of coffee! The point is to find regular time and place to meet with God, and to establish a regular pattern to do so.

But our prayer lives are not just solitary. So thirdly, the Bible also tells us that we are to pray with others (Matthew 18:19). We read of Christians praying together, and having prayer meetings. We are reminded that the Christian life is not just about me and my God. It is about us and our God.

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Conclusion

Let me end here. We’ve explored briefly many things about prayer, and I hope that some of your questions have been answered – and that you may have even more questions to ask during group discussion time soon! Especially about how to pray. Maybe you could ask your group leader, or the Christians in your group, about the framework that they use for prayer.

Why do we pray? Because we need to.

What is prayer? It is about choosing to spend time with God, keeping Him company. Prayer is about relationship. So if there are things in our lives, like sin, that compromise our relationship with God, then the effectiveness of our prayers is compromised too. Prayer is at the heart of Christianity, because at the heart of Christianity is a relationship with God. Therefore prayer is just about the most significant activity in life. In this sense, we can see that how – and when – we pray, is actually a reflection of how close we really are to God, the One we pray to.

Let’s end here by praying together? The Lord’s Prayer.

Beginning with “Our Father”. Let’s pray together.

⁹“This, then, is how you should pray:
” ‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
¹⁰your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
¹¹Give us today our daily bread.
¹²Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
¹³And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’

- Matthew 6:9-13

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Have a fruitful discussion time!

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- Ps Shern

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