alpha@wefc

Why and How Do I Pray? Sat, 04 Oct, 2008

About 5 years ago I was doing my studies to be a pastor. It was around 10pm at night and I had just finished a big assignment that was due the next day. I had saved the file and was about to print it out but then… my hard disk crashed! It was bad… something had gone wrong on a very fundamental level. I tried all my tricks and tools I usually used to access the data but I couldn’t get it. My whole paper that I spent weeks doing was not printed! And I didn’t know who to ask for help, because when it comes to computer problems other people ask me!

So who do I ask? God! God please help!! That’s what we usually think of when we pray – it’s when we’ve come to the end of our rope, we try everything we know how and can’t help ourselves then we pray! Is that what prayer is?
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What is Prayer?

1. Relationship with God

Is it about: Asking for things? Rituals to please God? There are some truth to these but the core of prayer is really about “relationship with God”.

Let’s zero in on the term “relationship”…

I left home very early this morning. At about 6.30am I was ready to leave. My wife was still sleeping but my 2 year old son, Ethan, had just woken up. As I walked past his open door he immediately said, “Daddy” and laughed. Of course I couldn’t resist going in so I went in and hugged him and talked to him. He laughed more and we played for a while with his stuff penguin toy, until the time came when I had to leave. I really didn’t want to end that sweet time with just the two of us, but I had to go, so with some regret on both our parts we said goodbye and gave each other a hug. That is a relationship between a father and child.

Prayer is the channel of forming this relationship between us and our Father God.

2. How can it be a real relationship?

You may say, but prayer is nothing like that intimate time of laughs and conversation and hugs that you just described this morning. Prayer is just…words or thoughts to an unseen God – how can it be a relationship?

I know it can seem like that, and I want to unfold this for you, and it can be one of the most enriching things for you if you choose to grasp it and embrace this intimacy of relationship with God.

One way to understand this is to look at me and my son. When he was a newborn baby, I loved him but he couldn’t communicate very much back with me. The channel for relationship was there but because he was a baby there was so much he couldn’t comprehend or couldn’t really respond to. Now things are so different. We play blocks together, share food and drinks, hold hands when we walk, watch videos and pictures on my phone and remember things that we did. He has grown so we can enjoy these things together, and I’ve been waiting these past two years for him to grow into this relationship with me.

When you and I begin our prayer lives as new Christians, the depth of prayer is like that of a baby. But we can grow and nurture it, until our relationship with God becomes a truly intimate experience that is as real as talking on the phone with any of our friends. This is prayer.

This leads us to the first reason for why we should pray. Why pray? Because we can enjoy a wonderful relationship with God.

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Why Pray?

1. Enjoy a wonderful relationship

We can develop a wonderful relationship with God which we can really enjoy!

Do you sometimes hear people say that they’re perfectly happy with their life right now and they don’t need God! That stuff about God is for those who are .

I’m really happy that you’re happy and satisfied – that is great, but let me ask you… do you think it is complete or is there something restless inside that you’re still striving for?

2. Experience joy and peace

This is a reward of relationship with God that God gives through prayer:

Jesus is speaking:

“Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” - John 16:24

Is the joy in your life complete now? If not, you should pray in the name of Jesus – which means trusting in Jesus – and you will receive things from God that will make your joy complete.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

- Philippians 4:6-7

I learned this scripture early on in my Christian life and applied it by praying to God whenever I was anxious about anything. I used to get stressed and worried about things, so I would pray and put things in God’s hands and ask God to give me peace and he does! It becomes a pattern in our lives so now even though I am busy person with many things on my hands, I am not an anxious person. Though there are times when things pile I up I do get physically tired and stressed, but I have peace! And that’s a wonderful reward of prayer.

These verses talk about asking for things and God giving things, so a key question about prayer that we need to address is this:

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Does God Always Answer Prayer?

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“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” - Matthew 7:7-11

Yes but…

1. Understand “good gifts”…

God is a loving father who gives us gifts that he knows are good for us. Sometimes what we ask for may not be the best in His plans, so we need to trust God that he knows what is best. Just like we don’t give our children all the things they ask for, so God sometimes holds back on the things we’re not ready for yet or are not good for us.

When my son gets upset when I don’t give him the thing he is asking for, I often hold him firmly by the shoulders and look into his eyes. I say, “Son, Daddy loves very much and wants to give you good things but this is not good for you now. You must trust your Daddy!” And whenever I say that, I’m also reminding myself of this Bible verse that tells us about our Heavenly Father.

Another thing we need to understand is that:

2. Sin separates us from God

“But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” - Isaiah 59:2

God can always hear us, but our sin has separated us so that he will not hear. This is why our relationship with God is always blocked until we receive Jesus Christ into our lives, put our trust in him, and ask God to forgive us our sins. If we do that, our sins are removed and God will hear us.

So you may ask, can non-Christians pray? This is where we need to understand what it means to be a child of God. All of us are created in God’s image, so in some sense all of us are God’s children, but the Bible reserves a special use for the term “child of God” that is not as general as this. The Bible teaches that we truly become a child of God when we put our trust in Jesus and the Holy Spirit comes and lives in us. We are made new again from the inside, and truly become God God’s children at that time.

This is important because while God knows everything that is going on, he has a special ear out for his children. A few weeks ago I was in the church office just before the 9am service. There were many things going on but in the distance I suddenly heard a cry and in an instant I knew it was Ethan. Parents know that we can be in a busy place but we can pick out our child’s cry from among all other sounds. So I rushed out of the office and all the way on the other side of the hall was my son crying! I was absolutely amazed that I heard him from inside my room in the church office. Mum had just driven away to park the car and he was with our helper upset that she left. So I ran toward him and the moment he saw me, he stopped crying – it felt really wonderful to be that loving father to him who can hear his cry amidst everything going on in church.

And it really struck me that God created us like that because He is like that. He loves to respond to his children, and he has a special ear out for those who have this relationship with Him.

The one thing I want to add on to that however is this. God loves to hear His children, but even more He loves to answer the prayers of those who are not yet Christians but are genuinely seeking Him. I see that time and time again. God will reveal Himself through answered prayer if you are genuinely seeking him.

God especially loves to answer prayers of those who are not yet Christians but are genuinely seeking Him! I don’t know how to encourage you more – the absolute best thing you could do is to pray to God: “God if you are real like the Bible says you are real then please show me.” Pray and keep an open mind to watch for God’s answers.

Someone once said that before becoming a Christian he didn’t believe in answered prayer – only coincidences, but after knowing God he found it remarkable how many “coincidences” happen when we pray!

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How Do We Pray?

There is no set way to pray, like particular chants or memorized words that have extra power. Coming to someone in that way is not a relationship!

There is also no set time or place to pray. We can think about God and pray silently or out loud at any time whether at work, on the bus, while driving, or at home. Since prayer is a relationship with God this can and should be at any time, however it is key for us to remember that at the heart of an intimate relationship is “alone time”.

If a guy told his girlfriend, “We don’t need to spend time alone, just hang out together with me with my friends.” Then we would say something is wrong with his idea of a relationship! If a husband and wife don’t nurture their marriage and spend good times alone together, they will get to the sad point where time alone is no longer enjoyable and intimate time!

So at the heart of an intimate relationship is good “alone time”. The Bible says:

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

- Matthew 6:6

That is why it is good practices to regularly have a quiet time when we can communicate with God. He can hear us no matter what is going on, but prayer is also us hearing him. So it is essential that we have times of quiet when we can talk to God and also be quiet enough to hear and sense the Spirit moving in our lives.

My wife told me that when she was studying in university there was this guy who invited her out to dinner. She wasn’t particularly interested in him – didn’t know him that well but thought okay, just dinner. Anyway she was a student without much money and he was working so she would get a good dinner! So he takes her out for dinner and for the whole evening this guy just kept on talking on and on about himself. He talked the whole time and didn’t seem very interested in her at all. So in the end she kind of “switched off” and just ate and enjoyed the free dinner while he talked! Of course, that was the first and only dinner she went on with him!

But sometimes we do the same thing with God don’t we? We talk and talk and tell him what’s bothering us and what we need. We ask for help and then say, “In Jesus name, Amen! Gotta run now God – bye!” And we don’t spend time listening to God.

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Conclusion

I’ve been telling you about a wonderful intimate relationship with God that you can have through prayer that grows as you grow as a Christian, but this only happens if we spend time not just talking but also listening to God. So spend some time in quiet and also listening!

The first thing you need to do to experience the richness of this love and relationship with our Heavenly Father is to be right with Him. Acknowledge that your sins have separated you from God, and that you want God in your life. Ask Jesus to come into your life and to forgive your sins and you will begin this wonderful relationship with Him.

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Concluding Comments

Finally, if you want to know some nuts and bolts about how to pray you can look into the Lord’s Prayer. This is the famous, “Our Father who is in Heaven, hallowed be your name…” prayer. You’ll be interested to learn that it was not primarily a prayer to be memorized and repeated, but a pattern of prayer that we can learn from. You can read more about this in the green book Alpha: Questions of Life or talk about this in your group discussions now.

Also, I want to highlight to you that I mentioned the Holy Spirit a few times during this talk. We’re going to be learning about the Holy Spirit during the most fun and I dare say the most important part of the Alpha Course – which is the Alpha Retreat in 2 weeks time on the 18th October. If you haven’t already booked in your calendar you really want to do that because it’s going to be a great day. We will go a lovely retreat centre here in Singapore that doesn’t feel like Singapore! And we’ll have breakfast, morning tea break, lunch, and afternoon tea break! But more than the food we will also have spiritual food as we learn about who the Holy Spirit and what he does in our life – so it’s a special day which is a definite HIGHLIGHT of the Alpha Course.

So change your appointments on the day; cancel your meetings – but make sure you come for the Alpha Retreat because it will be very sad if you miss it!

Enjoy the rest of the evening!

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- Ps Ivan Liew

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[Editor's Note: pdf copies of the talk of the speaker's notes can be found HERE.]